McDonald’s Employee Admits To Ejaculating In Big Mac ‘Secret Sauce’ For Nearly 2 Years

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“I’ve eaten Big Macs at other locations but I’d always come back to this one,” said Luis Gonzales, another McDonald’s customer. “I don’t know… I thought the Big Macs here just had a special ‘zing’ that I just couldn’t put my finger on. But now that I know I’ve been eating some dudes jizz, I’m gonna find him and crack that punk in his head.”

Several of the customers say they are considering a class action lawsuit, but nothing has been filed as of yet. Thomas was caught by another employee when he exited the bathroom with a cup and was seen adding it to the ‘secret sauce’ container. The employee retrieved the ingredients and notified the manager, who then called the police. When confronted, Thomas admitted he had been “making the sauce more secret than ever” for almost 2 years. Thomas was arrested, booked on several charges and is awaiting his court hearing.

There are over 3,000 people undergoing health screenings concerned about contracting diseases. Thomas offered a voluntary blood panel screening exam which came up negative for any contractible disease.

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